Lionesses Player Ratings: England Women 6-0 Portugal as Arsenal pair Beth Mead and Chloe Kelly score at Wembley 

Arsenal duo Chloe Kelly and Beth Mead score for England during 6-0 thrashing of Portugal with Lionesses captained by Leah Williamson 

Good evening and welcome to the View From The Armchair's inaugural introduction to the women’s game, as we meet at Wembley for the Nations League antics of England vs Portugal.

I must confess I’m a newbie to the women's game, but I’m going to give you my best efforts tonight to bring you all on the whistle player ratings, with key info sprinkled on top, along with a slice of humour along the way if we get the opportunity to do so,

Diving into the women’s game as a newbie feels a lot like taking over Carlisle in the fourth division on Football Manager, just familiarise with the names, the attributes will reveal themselves as we observe, I’ll add what I feel the players attributes are as a way to introduce myself to the ladies game as if it were WFM2025.

I hope to be up to speed super quickly, and provide you with some entertaining reading on the train home from Wembley, so let’s go!

Settle in, come with me, it’s Friday, you thought the football was done, it’s not, we go again. So come on you Lionesses.

Let’s dive into the women's game View From The Armchair style on ITV4.

Hannah Hampton: 8.5/10 - Replacing the legend that is Mary Earps, seeing her honours these are big boots to fill. Distribution 20. Libero-o-Meter 20, handling - well, who needs it as a keeper on nights like this. First touch with the hands on 16 minutes, comfortable clean sheet at half time, think she used her hands once all game, dominant display.

Lucy Bronze: 8.5/10 -  Heading 20, finishing 16, headed goal on four mins from four yards out showing a strikers instinct, into an empty net after good work by Hemp on the wing. 2-0, hard as nails in the headers, tough as a Brazil nut in the challenge, take my pocket money please Lucy!

Leah Williamson: 9/10 - for our Gooner Lisbon Lioness. Leadership 20 vibes before I’ve seen her kick a ball. Champion of Europe vibes, tenacity 20, heading 20, passing 20, she’s dynamite, I love her already, legend bonafide, clinical passing when needed, through balls 20, assists 20. She’s a Gooner, she’s one of our own, would it be biased to make her Player of the Match? Looks more comfortable on the ball than Des Walker ever did, equally as pacy - quite simply a star from the View From The Armchair. But then you all knew that anyway didn't you...?!

Esma Morgan: 8.5/10 - yup, passing 20, agility , 20, leadership 16, commanding first half at the back, gave Portugal zero to shout about at all, so good she barely came across my radar at all. Subbed off on 58 mins, controlled classy dominant dislay.

Jess Carter: 8/10 - Tackling 20, tenacity 20, desire 20, short passing 16, looked cool calm and collected all day, strong in the challenge, did a great job of stretching the Portugal attack across the pitch numerous times.

Grace Clinton: 6/10 -  Fired high and wide after the break. If you're going to shoot from outside the box you have to do far better than that. Not good enough from the Manchester United midfielder who spent a season out on loan to Spurs two years ago. Booked on 58 mins.

Kiera Walsh: 8.5/10 - Midfield star. Good work across the middle. Hard as nails.

Jess Park: 8.5/10 - An excellent display from the impish City winger 

Beth Mead: 9/10 - Our legendary Gooner fresh from being a champion of Europe, dribbling 20, tenacity 20 engine 16, experience 20, corners 18, strikers instinct 20. Slotted home past the keeper after nutmegging the defender to make it 4-0 and there wasn't even half an hour gone. Beautifully weighted assist for England's sixth goal, close runner for POTM from one of our.  

Aggie Beever-Jones: 9.5/10 - (POTM) Lots of focus pre-match from the professional pundits on the box after the 21-year-old Chelsea forward replaced Arsenal's Alessia Russo up front. And with good reason too, after shooting across the keeper who should have done better on three minutes to make it 1-0. Looked confident as a result, pace 20, attacking threat 20, heading 20 - which saw her notch her second on 25 mins with a bullet header off the crossbar to make it 3-0 to England. Prior to completing her hattrick after only 32 mins with a superb shot. Finished with some aplomb I think we have our Player of the Match.

Lauren Hemp: 9/10 - I have a good chance of becoming familiar with this team and by proxy a fan of the women’s game very quickly. Flair 20, crossing 20, pace, 20, off to a flyer for England on the right wing, jinking runs, causing issues for Portugal, strength 20, nearly on the score sheet on 41 mins, after a great Beth Mead whipped in cross from the right, a toenail away from getting on the scoresheet in the first half. A brilliant evening's work for the left winger.

Substitutes:

Chloe Kelly: 8.5/10 - A towering header from Arsenal's loan star on 62 minutes to make it 6-0 after a beautifully weighted cross from our own Beth Mead with pretty much her first touch, gotta love it as our Chloe made the Portuguese woes continue.

Alex Greenwood: 8/10 - distribution 20, passing, 20 leadership 20. Looked like she had a point to prove when introduced off the bench. Shot against the crossbar after a great save from Portuguese keeper Ines Pereira on 74 minutes. Underlines plenty of depth in this England squad. Great to note how calm, composed and world class Greenwood looks. Long may it continue.

Maya Le Tissier - 8/10

Fran Kirby: 8/10 - Hard as nails, tackling 20, crunching tackles 20 tenacity 20.

Georgia Stanway: 8/10 - Came on with 16 minutes remaining to a rapturous welcome from the Lioness fans. And why not, teh Bayern Munich midfielder is as much a Lioness legend as aynone.  

Crowd watch - a lively crowd among an impressive crowd of 48,591 is amazing to see. As is enjoying the national anthems without the need for booing, a refreshing change from the men.

View From The Armchair Verdict: 

I have to say I have been thoroughly entertained by Sarina Wiegman's Lionesses tonight. Plenty to enjoy in this dominant display of controlled measured football.

I have enjoyed my very first women's player ratings for the Gooner Fanzine immensely. Safe travels home, much love, come on the Lionesses after their world class Portuguese heart crushing display of dominance tonight!

Feels great to be an England fan after watching that display. Nicely done, nicely done.

View From The Armchair over and out. Until next time.