Stelling's ignorance shines through. On seeing s a banner about Cesc says, "I don't speak Spanish but I'm sitting next to a man that does." Turns to Benitez for a translation; Rafa with the sort of maniacal stare he reserves for occasions when he's speaking about Ferguson looks at Stelling...

The dark hand of News International and old Rupert at work; revenge for Gray suing the News of the World and Glen Mulcaire over phone hacking. There's a hearing scheduled for early this week at which Gray's lawyers will be trying to compel Mulcaire to identify those journalists he was transcribing v...

North East Gooner wrote:

After Arsenal's latest defeat, at the exact point when Arsene Wenger started praising his team's mental strength, the assembled journalists felt they had to point out that his pants were, in fact, on fire.

"I don't care if you did win the Soccer AM bullseye challenge Eboue put those bloody darts away, you got me right here!"

Unlike the majority of scoring chances that come his way Bendtner will not be missed.

Get In!

It was a midweek game at Highbury - Platt was playing for Villa. Their keeper was stretchered off at 3 - 0. It was in the days that teams were only allowed one substitute and with Villa having already used theirs an outfield player had to deputise. Villa didn't even have a spare keeper's jersey for ...

merson_is_god wrote:Here's my first one...

"I don't care how many free holidays the Redknapps got, I'm not doing an ad for First Choice!"

Vince wrote:

Little Jack Wilshere thanked his lucky stars that it wasn't everyday he had to look after Almunia's dog during training.

[quote="Basil is a Gooner"]

Fabianski: "Oi Vito, have you just dropped one?"

Mannone: "No Flappy, that would be you."

Basil is a Gooner wrote:

Although he had agreed to the clause in his contract, Eboue was none too pleased with the Bungee Rapid Substitution (TM) shorts that Arsene made him wear.

Vince wrote:

If you two are still going to cry about not making the world cup the least you could do is pick your tissues up.

[quote="jamjc64"]


Everyone thought that Tomas had taken his new found evangelicism a bit too far when he started baptising players by the side of the pitch.

"Mr Cole, what shall I do with all these malaria tablets in your boot?"


Or,


"I'll see your nokia Christiano and raise you an ipad."

"I want to help you Roland"