Her : "D'you wanna go upstairs?
Me : "Oh Aye Sure"
Her : "Have you got protection?"
Me : "Why?... What the fuck is up there?"
Search found 10354 matches
- Thu May 02, 2024 11:58 am
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
- Thu May 02, 2024 11:58 am
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn't go very well.
Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese
Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese
- Thu May 02, 2024 11:57 am
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I was worried that the mechanic would rip me off because I was a blonde woman.
Imagine my relief when I found out that I only needed indicator fluid
Imagine my relief when I found out that I only needed indicator fluid
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:44 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I've just sat down in the restaurant with my wife and ordered the hippo soup.
Not sure what I'm gonna have yet.
Not sure what I'm gonna have yet.
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:43 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
My wife has left me because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression
But don't worry.......... I'll return
But don't worry.......... I'll return
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:42 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I came downstairs this morning to find my girlfriend had gone and had left a note on the fridge door that said 'this isn't working, goodbye'.
Well I just opened the fridge and it's working fine.
Well I just opened the fridge and it's working fine.
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:42 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
You'd be surprised how quickly the sales people at the B&Q try and assist you after ignoring you for the past 15 minutes,
when you try and start a chainsaw!!!
when you try and start a chainsaw!!!
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:41 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
My wife came into the lounge and asked why our two year old son was screaming.
"He kicked me in the balls," I snarled.
"He doesn't understand that it hurts," she said.
"He fucking does now," I replied.
"He kicked me in the balls," I snarled.
"He doesn't understand that it hurts," she said.
"He fucking does now," I replied.
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:41 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I saw a bloke on the train wearing a T-shirt that read, "This is what a feminist looks like.
" And right enough, he had a flat chest and facial hair.
" And right enough, he had a flat chest and facial hair.
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:40 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
“ I’ve got good news and bad news”, the doctor said.
“ I’m afraid we’re going to have to amputate your leg”.
“Fucking hell! What’s the good news?” I asked.
“See that young nurse over there with the big tits?
I fucked her last night.”
“ I’m afraid we’re going to have to amputate your leg”.
“Fucking hell! What’s the good news?” I asked.
“See that young nurse over there with the big tits?
I fucked her last night.”
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:40 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
The only thing flat-earthers fear …....
is sphere itself.
is sphere itself.
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:39 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Mail online: "world's oldest paperboy dies at 92."
94 are wondering where their Evening Telegraph's got to.
94 are wondering where their Evening Telegraph's got to.
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:38 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I keep making racist jokes about my dads thai bride.
He finds it really annoying...
And so does my dad
He finds it really annoying...
And so does my dad
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:38 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
"Tell me what you want," I whispered as I slid my finger up and down her G string.
"I want my guitar back," she said.
"I want my guitar back," she said.
- Wed May 01, 2024 2:38 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3306
- Views: 703082
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Swampy the eco-warrior has died of a heart attack.
They offered him a bypass but he wasn't having any of it.
They offered him a bypass but he wasn't having any of it.