The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
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DB10GOONER
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The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

As it says on the tin, post your funny quotes here. They can be from any field; football, footballers, managers, movies, actors, musicians, etc.

Let's leave the Wenger stuff out though. This thread is to try cheer us all up. :wink:

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Herd
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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by Herd »

If it has got four legs and it is not a chair,
if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane,
and if it swims and it is not a submarine,
the Cantonese will eat it.”
― Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

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GranadaJoe
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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by GranadaJoe »

The classic from Mariah Carey,

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd like to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff"

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Rugby Gooner
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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by Rugby Gooner »

Yesterday on SSN,
Anthony Joshuas reply to Tyson Furys tweet that,"Joshua is not fit to tie my boots."
Joshua replied,"HE isn't fit enough to tie his boots."
Last edited by Rugby Gooner on Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:10 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

From Allgunsblazin;
Allgunsblazin wrote:
Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:00 pm
Ahh Bobby Robson, loved him, here are a few giggles on this depressing thread....

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'
Ameobi: 'No, not really'
Reporter: 'What do your team mates call you?'
Ameobi: 'Just Shola'
Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'
Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'


"In Mexico '86 a few of the players had been to see Beverley Hills Cop. As they're walking into the hotel a few of them are singing "The Heat is on", Robson turns round serious as you like and says "get them to turn it off then, its baking in here!"


"He turns to Bryan Robson at the airport and says, "Where's Reidy?" (Peter Reid).
Bryan Robson "You didn't pick him boss."

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

GranadaJoe wrote:
Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:08 am
The classic from Mariah Carey,

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd like to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff"
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I remember it well - one of the all time greatest quotes from a vapid empty bitch. :oops: :wink:

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by bobbybigb »

An old one........Rodney Marsh a highly skilled player, though not known for his work rate, playing in what turned out to be his last England cap was in a pre match team talk with manager Alf Ramsey.
Ramsey remarked that every player needed to work harder and he singled out Rodney stating that if he did not up his work rate he would pull him off at half time. Rodney replied " Christ, at Man City all we get is a cup of tea and an orange"

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Nos89
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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by Nos89 »

Being interviewed in 1960 on the day Elvis Presley was released from the army,
"Elvis what is your idea of the ideal girl? "
"Female!"

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by Redarmy »

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - STUART PEARCE

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by Bradywasking »

"Once or twice Morocco have got forward and nine times out of ten they nearly scored" Jimmy Hill.. 1986 World Cup

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Herd
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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by Herd »

If that had gone in it would have been a goal Q!
The scores 1-0 to Ipswich and if it stays that way you can see them winning this game .
The late great David Coleman

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven."

- The Sage David Beckham.

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

"When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1."

- Lawrie McMenemy.

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by Allgunsblazin »

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Prince Philip...

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Re: The Allgunsblazin Funny Quotes Thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

Allgunsblazin wrote:
Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:37 am
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Prince Philip...
The gobshite could have an entire thread dedicated to his racist ass! :oops: :lol:

Two of my "favourites" from literally dozens;

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (to a driving instructor in Scotland).

"It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." (pointing at an old-fashioned fusebox in a factory).

:oops: :censored: :box: :lol: :barscarf:

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