Dearest Wayno,Wayno wrote:Dearest Gus, I write to you with the most worrying of situations foremost in my mind. An aqaintance of mine, one whom is too smooth to mention by name, has recently taken to looking for comfort and pleasure from ladies on websites such as 'stinxofish.com and hardupinhackney.co.uk and at weekend likes to dress in black whilst people shout at him "who is that wanker in the black"
Anyway I digress from m problem, I have taken to having sex with guinea pigs and find that they split too easy, any tips on how to make them last?
It is good to hear from you again. For reasons that I am sure are close to your, heart you went quiet after the ladyboy incident and that business with Michael Barrymore.
It is hard to lose a loved one, more so when they are just too smooth! However, I feel it is time to move on and not to concentrate on the past but more the future you have in front of you. Nobody has yet got to grips yet with the affliction that is refereeism and sadly I do not think anyone ever will. One can only presume that the poor souls are born with a dodgy chromosone or something similar. However, take heart that he is safe in Hackney, orchestraiting his love life through his PC. Somebody that smooth can never be lonely too long!
Anyhow your second point with regards to guinea pigs is easier to solve. For the extra pound you will find tame rats more durable and less likely to go slack on you at the vinegars. Either that or invest in some good quality duct tape availabe at all good DIY stores. I know I did and my love life has no come on leaps and bounds and I am currently dating a Dutch lopped eared rabbit.
Enjoy!
next!