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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:08 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I'll act my age when I'm 69.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:11 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
The thing I hate most of all about Christmas is the Queen's speech. I still watch it though.
Cock in hand, awaiting that elusive tit slip
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:13 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I'm now in casualty...
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:14 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
A Chav kid was giving me cheek today, so I told him "Santa isn't real. Your Dad buys your presents." He looked at me blankly and said "Who?"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:15 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Marks And Spencers new advert states that it wouldn't be Christmas without M&S.
They're right too. It'd be Chrita.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:16 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Merry Christmas 2010!
From, Royal Mail
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:21 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I don't tell sexist jokes at parties any more.
They're too complicated for women.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:23 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Whenever I see anyone open their mouths, I just wanna shove my cock in.
Which is probably why I'm not a dentist anymore.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:24 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I've got a new aftershave that smells like breadcrumbs.
The birds love it.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:26 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I used to be perfectly sane before I lost my penis.
Now I'm just nuts.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:27 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
If you were born in Gotham City and your first name is 'The', there's a good chance you'll turn out to be a villain.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:29 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I've come up with the perfect system that pays out every time I go to the bookies.
Watch who wins then mug them on the way home.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:29 am
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:23 am
Whenever I see anyone open their mouths, I just wanna shove my cock in.
Which is probably why I'm not a dentist anymore.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:30 am
by DB10GOONER
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:30 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I spotted a tiger at the zoo yesterday.
It looks like a leopard now.
