LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff.
As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted "Whatever you do, don't look down".
So I started smiling.
As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted "Whatever you do, don't look down".
So I started smiling.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I nearly talked my way out of a speeding fine earlier by telling this Police woman she looked bloody stunning
Then I went and fucked it up by saying, 'And that's not the drink talking either'
Then I went and fucked it up by saying, 'And that's not the drink talking either'
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I once dumped a cross eyed chick.
I thought she was seeing someone else
I thought she was seeing someone else
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Dear Timex,
I'm pretty sure that if I end up 500 meters under water, I won't need a fuckin' watch anymore.
I'm pretty sure that if I end up 500 meters under water, I won't need a fuckin' watch anymore.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
After shagging kylie minogue yesterday, I think there are 3 things you should know ? First her fanny is tight as fuck, a real struggle to get in to, secondly she takes it over her face without any complaint & thirdly the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable fuckers with no sense of humour at all
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Never fuck a woman that can spell gonorrhea correctly the first time she tries.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Here's an interesting fact.
The male Gypsy Moth can smell the female Gypsy Moth for up to seven miles away.
The same fact is also true when you remove the word "Moth"
The male Gypsy Moth can smell the female Gypsy Moth for up to seven miles away.
The same fact is also true when you remove the word "Moth"
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I really hate having bi-polar, it's brilliant!
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A blokes wife is badly injured in an accident and he ends up donating some of his blood to her.
A few years later they are going through an acrimonious divorce and he demands his blood back.
So she throws a used tampon at him and screams " Here you bastard, I'll pay you back on a monthly basis"
The moral of this story is that when a woman eventually pays back what she owes a man, there's always a fucking string attached.
A few years later they are going through an acrimonious divorce and he demands his blood back.
So she throws a used tampon at him and screams " Here you bastard, I'll pay you back on a monthly basis"
The moral of this story is that when a woman eventually pays back what she owes a man, there's always a fucking string attached.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I was in the doctor's waiting room the other day when I saw a seven year old girl playing with Barbie and Ken dolls.
She'd got them both stripped off and at it doggy style.
I said to her jokingly "Be careful or you might fill the waiting room with babies"
"I don't think so, he's giving it to her up the shitter" she replied
She'd got them both stripped off and at it doggy style.
I said to her jokingly "Be careful or you might fill the waiting room with babies"
"I don't think so, he's giving it to her up the shitter" she replied
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
That's it happy Friday
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A marriage counsellor asked a couple, what they had in common.
The husband says, " Well, for starters, neither of us suck dick."
The husband says, " Well, for starters, neither of us suck dick."
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
How many tourette's sufferer's does it twat to cunnt a lightbollocks?
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I wear a stethoscope, so that in a medical emergency , I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:I was in the doctor's waiting room the other day when I saw a seven year old girl playing with Barbie and Ken dolls.
She'd got them both stripped off and at it doggy style.
I said to her jokingly "Be careful or you might fill the waiting room with babies"
"I don't think so, he's giving it to her up the shitter" she replied