LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[OneBardGooner]

Or Dr Goodfeel ?

I hear he's famous in Oirland... as Dr Dick GoodFeel. he likes a stiff one before he starts work.

What a little bit of Milk and Alcohol?

As long as it didn't lead to'Malpractice'

[TeeCee]

[Midz]

[OneBardGooner]

[Nick Nack]

Fucking hell, who was in Vol 1?

[DB10GOONER]

Fucking hell, who was in Vol 1?

I think the question is "what was in volume 1?"

My money is on the queen mother and Boy George.

[Nick Nack]

Fucking hell, who was in Vol 1?

I think the question is "what was in volume 1?"

My money is on the queen mother and Boy George.

I wonder if there is a collectors edition

[OneBardGooner]

Fucking hell, who was in Vol 1?

I think the question is "what was in volume 1?"

My money is on the queen mother and Boy George.

I wonder if there is a collectors edition

You mean a Box Set !?

[shu]

Ha ha challenging wanks or the 6 finger shuffle as it is known here in Norfolk

Bard , no my sister doesn’t have 6 fingers

[shu]

I went to the doctors for a Prostate exam
He said 'take your pants off'
I said 'Where should I put them'?
He said 'Over there, next to mine'............

Reminds me of my last prostate exam when halfway through it the doctor leaned forward and whispered in my ear "look, no hands....."

Ha ha

[OneBardGooner]

Ha ha challenging wanks or the 6 finger shuffle as it is known here in Norfolk

Bard , no my sister doesn’t have 6 fingers

But she does play the Banjo right!?

[Block93]

Girl goes into a record shop at Christmas.

"Excuse me, do you have Jingle Bells on a 6-inch?"

"No, but I have dangle balls on a 12-inch"

"That's not a record!"

"It's not far off!"



(PS Not sure if I have posted that one before but it's just as good second time around)

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

"I'm going out to scrape the car," my wife said this morning.

"Against what?" I replied.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

A man hates his wife"s cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it.

When he gets home, it"s there.

Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it.

When he gets home, it"s there.

So the next day he drives to the other side of the country and dumps it.

One hour later he rings his wife and asks, "is the cat home?"

"Yes, why?" asks his wife."

Put the fucker on," he says, "I"m fucking lost."

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I walked in the bedroom to find my wife dead in the bed the other day.

Looking at her lifeless there, I decided to have one last go.

Right in the middle she opened her eyes and shouted BOO!

Honestly, some people are fucking sick in the head.