TERRY, YOU BROKE MY HEART YOU BASTARD... THE NEW FEATURE FILM FROM FILMS FOR DUMMIES PRODUCTIONS.
Dedicated to "Chopper" who trawled through the stats to avoid a night of "romcom"....
A brief synopsis:
"The married man (Terry) had been having an affair for about half a year with this other woman (Barbara). Barbara was a flashy Latino, who was used to exuding her assets around the best clubs and bars in Europe. Then one night, after fooling around, they had a big bust up. He told Barbara to shove it and gave his wife (Audrey) a huge public show of affection, crying out that he loved her that he would never leave her. They quickly re-affirmend their vows in the eyes of God, and Father Derek.
Anyway, things ticked along quite nicely until Terry became ill. Audrey wanted him to take it easy and although he didn't like it at the start, he reluctantly agrees that staying away from work is probably the best thing for him.
The problem is that the couple start spending all of their time together and restless Terry begins to realise that he is, after all, really unhappy and, you've guessed it, starts thinking about Barbara again. In private, Terry and Audrey begin to argue. Audrey wants more kids but Terry doesn't like children and wants to spend more time with adults.
He tries to deny his unhappiness, even to the extent of dancing at every opportunity with one of Audrey's young gay friends, Emlyn. But this doesn't fool anyone, least of all Audrey.
Soon, the rumours of Terry and Barbara's affair are rife. Terry starts to talk in riddles but Audrey keeps a dignified, if puzzling silence. Then Terry announces he wants a divorce so that he can be permanently live with his new love.
Audrey, although unhappy with the separation - and wondering whether she will ever find another man who wears gloves and tights while they are making love - seems to have prepared herself for this moment and a divorce settlement is in place. Audrey will receive a large payment in cash, mostly from Barbara's trust fund - and Audrey will keep the kids.
Terry says his tear-dripped goodbye to the kids, reminding them that he will be back to give them all the support they need. And although he doesn't like them he would be happy for them to visit him - especially young Chesney, who he thinks might like to live with his Daddy in future.
Hang on, looks like Audrey has already found herself a new pair of gloves and tights........
Starring Johnny Halliday, Vincent Cassell and Penelope Cruz
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Eboue Can't Defend
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Mr ECD
I think I have had too much coffee in counteracting some earlier beer....
When I get the book rights, I will of course make it clear that the characters are all entirely fictional and that no comparison should be made to any person, living or dead.
And that some women find a man wearing gloves and tights a considerable turn-on.
I think I have had too much coffee in counteracting some earlier beer....
When I get the book rights, I will of course make it clear that the characters are all entirely fictional and that no comparison should be made to any person, living or dead.
And that some women find a man wearing gloves and tights a considerable turn-on.
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Ben-gooner14
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DB10GOONER
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