The Five types of Arsenal fan.

As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
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Monkeymaw
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The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by Monkeymaw »

http://www.joe.co.uk/sport/the-5-types- ... l-fan/6429
Just got sent this while at work. The sender said I am definitely the Nuerotic Trembler.
What type are you and what other Arsenal types are there?

beck
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by beck »

None of them

Robin_L
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by Robin_L »

None of those accurately sum up the "hate-Wenger-at-all-costs-even-when-it-starts-getting-a-bit-awkward-because-he's-winning-FA-Cups-again" mentality that is so comically pervasive on here, typified by the wonderful Steve O and that other boring plodder who thinks his sarcasm about wanking off to the latest news about Abou Diaby gets funnier after the 50th time you read it. 8)

officepest
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by officepest »

Robin_L wrote:None of those accurately sum up the "hate-Wenger-at-all-costs-even-when-it-starts-getting-a-bit-awkward-because-he's-winning-FA-Cups-again" mentality that is so comically pervasive on here, typified by the wonderful Steve O and that other boring plodder who thinks his sarcasm about wanking off to the latest news about Abou Diaby gets funnier after the 50th time you read it. 8)
Hmmm....

How about the occasional poster who only ever seems to post to needle others on here.

He never gets dull. :roll:

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IW8Goalmachine
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by IW8Goalmachine »

Robin_L wrote:None of those accurately sum up the "hate-Wenger-at-all-costs-even-when-it-starts-getting-a-bit-awkward-because-he's-winning-FA-Cups-again" mentality that is so comically pervasive on here, typified by the wonderful Steve O and that other boring plodder who thinks his sarcasm about wanking off to the latest news about Abou Diaby gets funnier after the 50th time you read it. 8)
The thought of it must get you all hot and sweaty if you've read it 50 times

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T.S
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by T.S »

Haha. I actually thought that was pretty good. It's actually worrying how accurately the JVC hipster one describes me (except for the small shirt). Even the bit about the avatar was on the money! :lol:

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Henry Norris 1913
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by Henry Norris 1913 »

T.S wrote:Haha. I actually thought that was pretty good. It's actually worrying how accurately the JVC hipster one describes me (except for the small shirt). Even the bit about the avatar was on the money! :lol:
nothing obscure about gilles grimandi, the man is imperious as franz beckanbauer 8)

I think we're all neurotic tremblers on here tbh. in fact my heart rate has only just recovered after last years cup final :shock:

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OneBardGooner
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by OneBardGooner »

1. The Mood Swinger
Some Gooners change direction quicker than Alexis Sánchez. When the club are winning, they'll be the first to give it large and herald a new era of Arsenal domination. A run of good results is tantamount to winning the league and Aaron Ramsey is the best midfielder in the world.

But as soon as a single point is dropped, all hope is lost. Ramsey's suddenly a useless "f*!$%&", and Arsene Wenger simply has to go. After all, it's not like he's ever done anything for the club...


2. The Wenger-Knows-Best
Draped from headphones-to-toe in Arsenal merch, this group are the very antithesis of the flip-flopper.

The slightest criticism of anyone related to 'the Arsenal' - even by fellow Gooners - is a personal insult, and they'll go after you like a swarm of polyester-clad bees.

The only thing they love more than Wenger is polls. Sky Sports, Match of the Day, Rear of the Year...you name it, an Arsenal player has to win it.

And woe betide anyone who dares criticise Saint Jack of Wilshere - they will literally stab you in the eye if you so much as question his holiday habits.

3. The JVC Hipster
You know the type; they turn up to games in their retro Michael Thomas top (two sizes too small of course) and wax lyrical about their vivid memories of May 26, 1989 - when they were three years old.

They love to explain the subtle aspects of Mesut Ozil's game that their fellow fans simply don't appreciate. And they adore Alexis Sanchez, but more so when he was playing for Udinese ("why can't Wenger use him properly?").

Now the Chilean is a far too obvious pin-up - it's all about Francis Coquelin and the work you don't see him doing. Twitter avatar is John Jensen or Igor Stepanovs because, ya know, obscure and ironic.


4. The Johnny-come-Latte
They love the footie do the Johnny-come-Lattes. There's nothing they enjoy more than rocking up at the Emirates , enjoying the lavish Club Level hospitality, maybe catching a bit of the game in their padded seats, before getting up well before half-time to schmooze with bored ex-pros over drinky-poos.

They're fully paid-up members of the new football fraternity, and shudder at the merest reference to pre-Nick Hornby Arsenal. The very thought of huddling shoulder-to-shoulder with the great unwashed at Highbury gives them palpitations. Arsenal is all about comfort for them - and something to talk to the plumber about.


5. The Neurotic Trembler
This Arsenal fan has seen things, things that you wouldn't understand - because you weren't there man. They are scared by years of growing optimism following by inevitable crushing disappointment. You'll have to excuse them for not getting too excited about anything, because Arsenal have broken them.

Their support of Arsenal isn't fun, it's not a choice; instead it's a cruel and tortured burden. Oh Sanchez is playing well is he? Well he'll only get injured. Arsenal are favourites to sign Petr Cech? He's going to Man United. Their cup isn't half empty, it was smashed against the wall the day Eduardo broke his leg.

Number 2 is that Ty boy who Arsenal pay to wear and advertise their merchandise.

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SteveO 35
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by SteveO 35 »

officepest wrote:
Robin_L wrote:None of those accurately sum up the "hate-Wenger-at-all-costs-even-when-it-starts-getting-a-bit-awkward-because-he's-winning-FA-Cups-again" mentality that is so comically pervasive on here, typified by the wonderful Steve O and that other boring plodder who thinks his sarcasm about wanking off to the latest news about Abou Diaby gets funnier after the 50th time you read it. 8)
Hmmm....

How about the occasional poster who only ever seems to post to needle others on here.

He never gets dull. :roll:
Lol - is there a 6th type? The Online Stalker......who after more than a year has still got his little obsession with me and finds nothing else in his life to talk about

Good old Robin_L(oser) - the little boy with lots to say about nothing.

By the way chaps, if I am offline for a week can you send L(oser)'s details to the police. He may just have broken his restraining order :D

Keep going Capital L - you make my day son. Oh, good luck with the GCSEs by the way

:barscarf: :barscarf: :barscarf: :barscarf:

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SteveO 35
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by SteveO 35 »

Definitely the Neurotic Trembler by the way !

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rodders999
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by rodders999 »

IW8Goalmachine wrote:
Robin_L wrote:None of those accurately sum up the "hate-Wenger-at-all-costs-even-when-it-starts-getting-a-bit-awkward-because-he's-winning-FA-Cups-again" mentality that is so comically pervasive on here, typified by the wonderful Steve O and that other boring plodder who thinks his sarcasm about wanking off to the latest news about Abou Diaby gets funnier after the 50th time you read it. 8)
The thought of it must get you all hot and sweaty if you've read it 50 times
That bird off 50 shades makes millions writing smut that wouldn't hold a candle to the shit this boring plodder posts on here :lol:

Robin_L
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by Robin_L »

SteveO 35 wrote:
officepest wrote:
Robin_L wrote:None of those accurately sum up the "hate-Wenger-at-all-costs-even-when-it-starts-getting-a-bit-awkward-because-he's-winning-FA-Cups-again" mentality that is so comically pervasive on here, typified by the wonderful Steve O and that other boring plodder who thinks his sarcasm about wanking off to the latest news about Abou Diaby gets funnier after the 50th time you read it. 8)
Hmmm....

How about the occasional poster who only ever seems to post to needle others on here.

He never gets dull. :roll:
Lol - is there a 6th type? The Online Stalker......who after more than a year has still got his little obsession with me and finds nothing else in his life to talk about

Good old Robin_L(oser) - the little boy with lots to say about nothing.

By the way chaps, if I am offline for a week can you send L(oser)'s details to the police. He may just have broken his restraining order :D

Keep going Capital L - you make my day son. Oh, good luck with the GCSEs by the way

:barscarf: :barscarf: :barscarf: :barscarf:
It's ok though Steven, because you've got me on ignore right? and nothing I ever say gets to you apparently 8) Keep on ignoring me like you said you would, it's working a treat so far :oops:

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Bradywasking
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by Bradywasking »

None of the above..I am a bit of a pessimist, somewhat deliberately , as I think being supremely confident annoys the gods of football. I don't buy into or understand the "if you support Arsenal you must support Arsene logic".
The "Mood Swingers" are very real, I know many of them. not just Arsenal fans and not just football fans either. Bandwagoner c**ts . There is a bit of the " Neurotic Trembler " in us all..we hate Internationals because the lead to injuries for our players. We want Arsenal players to be outstanding but that is tempered with the sure and certain fact that the better they get the more likely they will be on the next plane or train to Madrid, Barcelona , Manchester or across London.

officepest
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by officepest »

Robin_L wrote:It's ok though Steven, because you've got me on ignore right? and nothing I ever say gets to you apparently 8) Keep on ignoring me like you said you would, it's working a treat so far :oops:
You are rather creepy.

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DB10GOONER
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Re: The Five types of Arsenal fan.

Post by DB10GOONER »

Robin_L wrote:None of those accurately sum up the "hate-Wenger-at-all-costs-even-when-it-starts-getting-a-bit-awkward-because-he's-winning-FA-Cups-again" mentality that is so comically pervasive on here, typified by the wonderful Steve O and that other boring plodder who thinks his sarcasm about wanking off to the latest news about Abou Diaby gets funnier after the 50th time you read it. 8)
Do you ever post anything on here that isn't just basically you having a pop at other posters? :rubchin: What's the point? You don't like the forum? Cool, it's not to everyone's taste, but why keep reading it? Also, if you want to discuss "boring", your constant referral to SteveO as "Steven" has now moved beyond intentionally patronising to just good old plain boring. :roll:

For the record Rodders, your Diaby-based masturbatory sarcasm is great. 8) Keep up the good work! :D

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