Well Played / Pain In The Arse

Well Played

This is the section where we honour those who have had Gooners cheering for one reason or another. To nominate someone to be considered for a mention, email us the details.

Here's a selection of our favourite Well Played nominations from recent months.

From Danny Parkin: Levi Roots of Dragons Den and Reggae Reggae Sauce fame, who included Arsenal as one of the ten things he “really can’t do without” in a Sun feature recently. He also commented that the team haven’t been cheering him up much recently, but that this season was going to be our year! Well Played!

From Kate Moreton: The enterprising owner of the donkeys at Blackpool beach who, on the day of our visit recently, named them Crouch, Huddlestone and Gomes. Well Played!

From Dave Witters: The Gooner who was fitting a flip down TV and DVD player into John Terry’s new Mercedes people carrier for writing “Oh to be a Gooner” underneath the roof lining in permanent marker before putting it all back in place and returning the car to the unsuspecting Chelsea captain. Well Played!

From Marcia Milnes: James Alexander Gordon, the voice of the football results on BBC Radio 5 Live, who revealed in the Radio Times recently that he got the job after sounding delighted for Arsenal during a run through of imaginary results which included a victory for us over Manchester United. Well Played!

From Howard Kevan: Journalist Derek McGovern for writing in his Daily Mirror column that "Bale is not quite the best footballer on the planet despite what Spurs fans claim but is almost certainly the best footballer on the planet of the apes". Well Played!

From Edd Scicluna: Polich keeper, Wojciech Szczesny who revealed on Twitter that he changed his mind about which X-Factor act to vote for after discovering that his original choice, Matt Cardle, was a Spurs fan. Well Played!

From Nick Kelly: The public, who in response to a Family Fortunes question to "name a London football club" made Arsenal the top answer. Naturally! Well Played!

From Anne Francis: Arsenal fan Piers Morgan for managing to upset Chelsea’s players who are apparently angry that Piers described Cheryl Tweedy’s ex-husband as a “treacherous little git” after they split up. On learning about the Chelsea players hate campaign against him Morgan commented “I’ll probably cope OK”. Well Played!

From Ken Wylie: The customer service manager of a large UK firm (can’t say who for legal reasons) who turned down a job applicant because she was called Chelsea. Well Played!

From Ray Moules: Jamie Carragher who, in an interview recently, talked about the dignity and class of clubs and said "...people look at Arsenal. They do things right, and you go, yep, they conduct themselves in the right way". Well Played!


Pain In The Arse

This is the section (formerly known as A Load of Ballacks) where we let people who have annoyed us know what we think about them. To nominate someone who deserves our attention, please email us the details.

Here's a selection of our favourite Pain In The Arse nominations from recent months.

From Gary Humphrey: Alfie Moon on Eastenders who, when talking to his son Tommy on his christening day, told him he could be anything he wanted, “an astronaut, Prime Minister, anything except a Gooner.” Pain In The Arse!

From Tim Trench: Abou Diaby for revealing that Younes Kaboul gave him a Tottenham shirt which he wears around his house as it would be “more difficult” to wear it in the street. Why would you want to even admit to this? Pain In The Arse!

From Billy Dean: Former Jam guitarist and Tottenham fan, Bruce Foxton, who was forced to scrap a gig In Islington just before Christmas when the crowd took exception to his decision to refuse to let support act, Riders of the Night, play on the bill seemingly because they are all Arsenal fans. Pain In The Arse!

From Marcia Milnes: Panini for the 32 packs of Champions League trading cards we were given at Arsenal which contained three Drogbas and not a single Arsenal player. Pain In The Arse!

From Doctor Robert: The publishers of the Arsenal Magazine who sent subscribers letters recently inviting them to renew their subscription for the Everton Magazine. Pain In The Arse!

From Luigi Di Falco: World Soccer magazine for their list of the "50 greatest teams the world has ever seen" which included Tottenham's only ever double winning team of '61, but not one of our numerous double winning teams or, scandalously, the Invincibles - the first team to finish a league campaign in England unbeaten for over a hundred years! Pain In The Arse!

From Will Trott: The Arsenal USA website, run for the club by a company called Sports Endeavours, for advertising Chelsea merchandise - baby booties and shirts - on it for a period during the close season. Pain In The Arse!

From Jenny McDonald: Sky's Goals on Sunday programme the day after we beat Blackburn for completely ignoring Diouf's ridiculous challenge on Almunia, presumably just because Big Fat Sam was their studio guest. Pathetic! Pain In The Arse!

From Cathy Khata: New signing Andrey Arshavin for his views on woman drivers. He's been quoted as saying that "if I had it in my power to introduce a ban on women driving cars and to withdraw all their licences, I would do it without thinking twice". Pain In The Arse!

From Nige and Rob: The landlord of the Cardiff pub we visited before our FA Cup tie who charged us 80p more for our second round of drinks because he said the barmaid who served us first “hadn’t realised you were Arsenal fans”. Pain In The Arse!

Issue #269 - Out Now!

Gooner Editorial

16th February 2018

Frozen North Provides Relief For Arsenal

Rare comfortable away win for Gunners v Ostersunds