LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle.
He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a...
'for sale' sign on it.
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there.
Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to
tell you something about my family.
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
Joe is shocked.
Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the
corridor, everywhere he looks. Dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table
and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom
horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.
Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and
screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to
ear. But still....Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts.
I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!
He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a...
'for sale' sign on it.
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there.
Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to
tell you something about my family.
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
Joe is shocked.
Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the
corridor, everywhere he looks. Dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table
and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom
horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.
Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and
screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to
ear. But still....Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts.
I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!
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- Posts: 10385
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Me and the wife decided to make our own sex tape.
She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
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- Posts: 10385
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I often have trouble spelling my own address. "Surrey" seems to be the hardest word.
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- Posts: 10385
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
"Have I made myself clear?" Said the chameleon as he stood in front of a sheet of glass.
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- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could've been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
The wife and I decided to flip a coin to see what our new born son should be called. He's called Tails.
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- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
If you were born in Gotham City and your first name is 'The', there's a good chance you'll turn out to be a villain.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Mental Note: Actual notes work better.
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- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!'
I thought, "That's just spam
I thought, "That's just spam
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I had amnesia once - or twice.
- DB10GOONER
- Posts: 59656
- Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:06 pm
- Location: Dublin, Ireland.
- Contact:
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Some top work there Lefty.
- Bradywasking
- Posts: 6032
- Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:14 am
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Wife said proudly to me "I haven't put on weight in years" I laughed, so she said " Look I bought this years ago and it still fits"....it was a scarf
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Cheers DB been a long time, maybe not long enough for someDB10GOONER wrote:
Some top work there Lefty.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A 14 year old boy has been fitted with a robot hand.
Brilliant.
That will save him having to sit on it until it feels like someone elses.
Brilliant.
That will save him having to sit on it until it feels like someone elses.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Been offered a job shaving ladies pussies...
Its £10 an hour, Gash in hand!
Its £10 an hour, Gash in hand!