Here's *that* Arsenal statement, climbdown and apology in full (well, Brian Dawes version anyway...)

THE CLUB STATEMENT 20 April 2021 (as rewritten by Brian Dawes...)

We (as in we the Krankies) acted like total arses and were made to look like the arses we so absolutely are.

Clearly we do not now, nor ever have, given a sh*t about either, loyal, or any other supporters.

This was quite apparent when the first thing we did on taking over was to surreptitiously tear up the fans charter.

With regards to the European Super Cartel, which we are now hoping to brush under the FIFA and UEFA carpet, you will have observed that we didn't have the b*ll*cks at any time to stand up and be counted for any of our abhorrent actions or to in any way justify them. 

When we say we needed no reminding how important the fans opinion is what we meant was we didn't actually realise loyal supporters cared enough to ditch season tickets.

We're now bricking ourselves as to the extent of the deserved abuse we are receiving for lowering both the long established standards and standing of a once great club that we are intent on destroying.

This is clearly something we’re having great difficulty in blaming the management for and we really don't know how to react - because as you know we don't give really give a sh*t about anything other than lining our own pockets in any case.

At the time of this pathetically grovelling climb-down  we have yet to decide where to apportion the blame, but quite obviously it won’t be on us.

For and on behalf of The Arsenal Rip-off money making Corporation (USA)