Player Ratings: Andorra 0-1 England 

Here's View From The Armchair's England Player Ratings after their narrow 1-0 win over Andorra in Barcelona 

It’s Saturday, it’s mid June, it can mean only one thing, World Cup qualifiers, there’s no need for the cricket, not yet - because we aren’t done with the footy as England are in Barcelona taking on the might of Andorra in the shadows of the still to be finished Sagrada Familia (see main picture). Speaking of which, it's only taken them 100 years and counting...reminds me of some builders I know...

Jordan Pickford: 7/10 - Lee Dixon is on the commentary and I’m happy about that, bit of people watching with ITV's coverage, and we're off. Pickford is deathly quiet today. Which is strange as he normally barks like a chihuahua. He's quite happy to faff about at the back with his plates of meat in England colours, which is a change from when he's normally under pressure at Everton. At times he even applauded his defence politely. Certainly didn't feel the need to chew anyone out, and even got a beautiful bit of evening sunshine here in Barcelona in the second half.

For you goalkeeping aficionados out there it was interesting to note Pickford literally didn’t have anything to do with his hands at all, which is practically par for the course in keepers these days. It's almost disappointing when they do, as it means they're clearly not in a ‘good moment’. Mind you, did you see his expert nut out with his bonce upfield on 57 minutes. Hands eh? Who needs em.  

Curtis Jones: 7/10 - looking very assured, had a lovely little run about in the 28 degree sunshine in the first half, even escaped Roy Keane's ire somehow in the expert punditry seat on ITV at half time, before more of those adverts, oh joy of joys. Nobbled the Andorra keeper on 64 minutes, he don’t look happy about it either, subbed off on 80 mins for Gordon, largely anonymous really in the second half.

Ezri Konsa: 7.5/10 - solid display, caught diving pathetically on 10 minutes. Don’t like it, not a fan of it, get up man, if we can even say that here in 2025, or not, will need to check with the editor, and possibly HR. 75 mins switched on as the substitute Lopez broke through to save English blushes. Did well overall and never let anyone down.

Dan Burn: 7/10 - still having nightmares about being out gunned in a one on one duel with MLS, the Geordie giant did well to recover his confidence in the first half. Plenty of touches on the ball, rarely looked troubled, looked cool as ya like - in truth, even if he leapt like a lead balloon and lost a defensive header on 46 minutes. Gonna need more work in training on his jumping. Minus 2.

Reece James: 7.5/10 - Good to see him back in an England shirt. Linked up well with Madueke on the left. A clash of heads on 35 minutes gave everyone a well earned drinks break. I barely saw anyone get touched, I just think they need drinks. Probably the rate of pay doesn’t quite measure up to the Premier League money, it’s drinks all round at the free bar, stay hydrated kids.

Jude Bellingham: 7.5/10 - Fair to say he didn’t let anyone down with an ok performance. Is he Liverpool bound or just a rumour? Early shot tested the keeper in under 60 seconds, given free rein to roam early on, with the veteran Henderson having his work cut out covering the defence. Decent strike on 34 minutes, missed glanced header moments before the interval ensured a chorus of boos at the half time whistle.

Jordan Henderson: 7.5/10 - my eyes do not deceive me I thought he was retired. He must be 45 years old no? To be fair he earned his money, not that he should need any eh?  Ran around like an escaped goat, which is basically why Tuchel picked him. England's goal saw him wipe his brow in relief, oiked off on 64 minutes after proving he can still kick a ball about remarkably well for an OAP.

Cole Palmer: 5/10 - the Chelsea prodigy showed plenty of decent touches in the first 15 mins, drifted left and right, and then he took a corner. Seven of them at the last count. Lazily lost possession at times, and needed more from him. No magic wand through balls either. The disinterested body language and laid back vibes are hard to ignore. If it was footy manager he’s had a 4/10 first half, I’d be getting Rice on off the bench. Pulled off on 64 mins.

Noni Madueke: 8.5/10 - POTM pacy skills one on one, fierce shot from range on 13 mins, did well retaining possession on the left, looked most likely to score. Showed great work on the left whipping the cross in for Kane's opener on 61 minutes. Fluffed his shot after another crossfield, dare I say it, 'Hoddle-style lay up' from our former Junior Gunner Kane. Should have made it 2-0 on 90 minutes, definitely my pick of the bunch.

Morgan Rogers: 7.5/10 - Delightful shuffle of the feet on 38 minutes, before he blazes a shot over the bar a minute later. Villa's former Middlesbrough propsect showed flair and plenty of promise. Subbed on 80 minutes for our very own Declan Rice.

Harry Kane: 7/10 - spreading balls like a prime Glenn Hoddle from midfield for some reason at times. If he's going to do that outside the box, we might as well get him back on the corners at this rate. Please just get in the box, eh Harry? Mind you, when he did, he missed a chance at the near post. Then, to a huge amount of relief inside the ground from the England fans, the Bayern Munich striker scores one I’ve seen former Arsenal striker Alan Smith blaze over about 16 times in the flesh, to make it 1-0 to England. Flicked one audaciously at goal shortly afterwards, after Madueke stole the ball.

Substitutes:

Trent Alexader- Arnold: 7/10 - On for the underwhelming Palmer on 66 minutes. From his first corner ball Real Madrid's newest player showed an instant improvement over anything Palmer offered all day. Gentle stroll in the sunshine as the Andorran horns appear in the crowd. Pipe down.

Eberechi Eze: 7/10 - Didn't quite repeat his end of season heroics with his first shot on 69 minutes, playing Henderson ahead of this guy is about as high an insult you could deliver. I’m liking Tuchel's Germanic audacity, it bodes well, I get it, I dig it, I’m onboard Tuchel's football bus. Mind you, the journey needs to bring us to Destination: Silverware. Pulled a great save from the keeper on 73 minutes with a sharp header after great work by Bellingham,

Declan Rice: 8/10 - Replaced Jones on 81 minutes with Arsenal and England's finest immediately getting a bonus point here for having the initials D and R in his name. If You Know You Know. The sooner Declan gets a rest this summer the better. Then he can win us the Champions League next season instead of pointleslly toiling away against students and bus drivers in the middle of June. Come on you Gunners. 

Anthony Gordon: 7-10 - Swapped with Rogers on 80 minutes, The Geordie Liverpudlian winger got his chance to show big Dan Burn how to get up off the ground and actually meet a header, like a true warrior.

Morgan Gibbs White: 7/10

Tuchel watch - tried to rally his troops in the first half, a chorus of boo’s in the Spanish sunshine at half time. Would surely have demanded a lot more of his players I’m sure.

I'm still shocked Henderson is even lacing up his boots here, incredible scenes that, and a polite non barking Pickford is quite the sight to behold. There’s a cheeky reference to San Marino, 7-1 from Lee Dixon on commentary, but the truth is that this was the kind of result you used to expect from these fixtures. However, in 2025, even Andorra feel emboldened to show a brief glimpse of Tiki Taka against this star studded England team. To be fair, the minnows can feel very proud of their showing tonight.

Roy Keane gives the England a deserved ear bashing at the end, but it’s 1-0 to England and we get the points in the bag and that’s all that matters for now. We move!